I’m a cop - Do I really need a therapist?

Sep 2

Not always. I am not a believer that therapy is always helpful no matter what. For some, it’s just not necessary.

Here’s the thing, if you are regularly taking care of yourself physically and mentally and utilizing healthy coping skills, there are many symptoms that you can decrease on your own when experiencing a rise in symptoms.

There are a good chunk of cops I have come across that don’t need therapy or long-term therapy and they have all shared quite a few similar traits.

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6 things that Healthy Cops who Don’t Need Therapy Share In Common:

A wide range of nervous system regulation skills (deep breathing, mindfulness, grounding practices) to lower HR and Fight or Flight symptoms - and they regularly seek out more skills.
A wide range of coping skills (gym, cooking, fishing, reading, art) to bring their body’s back to homeostasis while familiarizing themselves with an identity outside of their work.
Vulnerability to lean on a healthy support base between friends and/or family who don’t try to fix them but listen and validate their experiences.
Self-reflection of their moods and behaviors and can adjust their perspectives/expectations when they are in the wrong with a partner or friends.
Focuses on things they can control and communicate with a trusted person when they are struggling with things they can’t control.
Has the courage to contact a therapist if one or multiple of their coping practices are no longer working and they can’t figure out why.

Officer wellness is a journey that can take your entire career and even flow into the next stage of your life. Therapy is an incredible resource because

Not every thought you have is important or true

6 reasons cops may need therapy:

No support base to give you healthy advice (*spoiler* some of them don’t know that the advice or support you’re being given sucks). Here a few examples that may seem like support but may not be
1. You are going through a rough patch in your relationship and a friend starts picking your partner apart, calling them a huge jerk.
2. You keep thinking about/replaying a past call and your work partners are saying, “you’ll get over it”.
3. You are drowning in stress and your friends just invite you over for drinks without addressing what is wrong.
You’re noticing an increase in symptoms (increase in alcohol use, irrational fears, not wanting to hang out with friends, rumination, etc.) but can’t figure out why and your regular coping skills are not decrease them.
When your partner, friends, or family have commented on an issue and you get really defensive about it and are unable to talk it through with them for an extended amount of time.
You’re aware that something is “wrong” but coping skills are not reducing the symptoms.
You and your romantic partner are having the same fights over and over but can never actually resolve the issues.
Your family of origin taught you unhealthy patterns of behavior and you want to make sure that you don’t fall into the same cycles.

In someways, having had a challenging childhood can prepare you for being a first responder because it’s a hard job and very few can do it. But in other ways, traumatic or unpleasant childhood experiences can become agitated by your work and cause suffering over time.

If you’re feeling nervous about trying therapy, remember: therapy doesn’t have to be forever (especially with the advancements of effective trauma therapies) - it can be a short experience for you. Show up to a session with some goals and a openness to look at/do things differently and you’ll set yourself up for success.

If you’re not sure about the therapy thing and want to start off small but get REAL help, I’d love to work with you! Empowering Our Protectors is a monthly wellness coaching service brought to you TacMobility where you work with a Mental Health Professional to create goals, accountability, new behaviors and habits all from your computer or phone! Click here for more information and ½ off your first session.

**Written by Mel Koenen**

**Mel is a licensed associate therapist that specializes in first responders and is the wife of a trooper. She is passionate about bringing good, practical wellness solutions to first responders.**

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