A Fight Is Going On Inside Of Me
“A fight is going on inside of me.”
Lately, this phrase has resonated more than ever. At times, it feels like I’m swimming upstream and although I know what I want, my actions seem to be at war with my thoughts.
Let’s explore the profound wisdom of the Cherokee tale of two wolves and its relevance to officer resiliency and wellness.
A young boy came to his Grandfather, filled with anger at another boy who had done him an injustice.
The old Grandfather said to his grandson, "Let me tell you a story. I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and hate does not hurt your enemy. Hate is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times."
"It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one wolf is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offence when no offence was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way. But the other wolf, is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper."
"He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, because his anger will change nothing. Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, because both of the wolves try to dominate my spirit."
The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked, "Which wolf will win, Grandfather?"
The Grandfather smiled and said, "The one I feed."
That last line is like a salve to my wounds bro. That’s exactly it!
Pursing wellness is a lifelong journey filled with ups and downs. To be human is to struggle with our ego’s. There is no escaping it fully. And yet, there is so much hope in the fact that while both wolves exist, we decide which becomes stronger.
Thank you for being part of our wellness community where we are fully committed to embracing the highs and lows…together. If you’re not already following us on social media outlets like Instagram and LinkedIn, check in with us. We’d love to do life with you.
Written by Erica Gaines
Erica is the CEO/Founder of TacMobility. She is a subject matter expert in law enforcement trauma and stress exposure and is the author of the world’s largest on-going data research survey of Law Enforcement officers and stress. Erica is certified in trauma yoga therapy.
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